mr. dobalina
|
| posted on 2004-10-23 at 22:58 |
|
|
Classified: 22 year old male seeking.....
22 year old causcasian male currently seeking an entourage to assist in the daily duties of being incredibly cool.
Duties Include:
- managing finances
- parking cars
- buying groceries (Wholesale Club membership a plus)
- looking thugged out
- frontin'
- throwing suckas who talk that ill shit through plate glass windows
- finding hottest groupies, sweet talking said groupies, delivering groupies to bedrooms naked and well-oiled (experience with Hawaiian Tropic
preferable, but we are willing to train qualified applicants)
- drinking Cristal up in the club
I am now interviewing for the following positions:
- gentle giant who, when pushed past his breaking point, just kills things
- guy to distract our girlfriends while we bang nasty stank hoes
- guy with crazy eyes who just might stab you
- little guy with a Napoleonic complex who talks smack but hides behind everyone else (high-pitched, annoying voice a must)
- accountant
- former Navy Seal who doesn't do anything and should be fired but everyone is just too afraid of him to say anything about it
Experience with Microsoft Word and Excel preferable.
SERIOUS REPLIES ONLY PLEASE
Amid the chaos of that day, when all I could hear was the thunder of gunshots, and all I could smell was the violence in the air, I look back and am
amazed that my thoughts were so clear and true, that three words went through my mind endlessly, repeating themselves like a broken record:
you're so cool, you're so cool, you're so cool. And sometimes Clarence asks me what I would have done if he had died, if that bullet
had been two inches more to the left. To this, I always smile, as if I'm not going to satisfy him with a response. But I always do. I tell him
of how I would want to die, but that the anguish and the want of death would fade like the stars at dawn, and that things would be much as they are
now. Perhaps. Except maybe I wouldn't have named our son Elvis.
|
|
|
Dagger Phillips
|
| posted on 2004-10-23 at 23:31 |
|
|
Damn that's funny. I'd hate to see how many posistions would be availible id you were incredibly super cool!
www.bittercandi.com
|
|
|
DeeDee
|
| posted on 2004-10-26 at 01:43 |
|
|
do YOU have any job openings for a special personal assistant? you know, the kind that assist you in a "special" way???
|
|
|
Pure_Ibanez_Sound
|
| posted on 2004-10-26 at 02:40 |
|
|
quotation:
gentle giant who, when pushed past his breaking point, just kills things
I can do the giant bit. You'd have to train me to kill like some sort of penguin though.
one last show.
|
|
|
Chris
|
| posted on 2004-10-26 at 12:33 |
|
|
quotation:
Originally posted by DeeDee
do YOU have any job openings for a special personal assistant? you know, the kind that assist you in a "special" way???
you mean like wiping his ass?
ta bi
|
|
|
DeeDee
|
| posted on 2004-10-26 at 21:07 |
|
|
thats not what i was thinking!
|
|
|
Chris
|
| posted on 2004-10-26 at 22:20 |
|
|
quotation:
Originally posted by DeeDee
thats not what i was thinking!
you're sick!
ta bi
|
|
|
Pure_Ibanez_Sound
|
| posted on 2004-10-26 at 23:23 |
|
|
Ewww. Why would you want to pour his milk into his cereal!?!?!?!?!?!
quotation:
you're sick!
Agreed.
one last show.
|
|
|
DeeDee
|
| posted on 2004-10-27 at 19:49 |
|
|
i HATE all of you
|
|
|
