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posted on 2004-12-16 at 17:25
Knock, Knock...
guys, this is the open mic night comedy club on the forum, tell and joke, and spread a smile!
One day George W. Bush and Dick Cheney walk into a diner. A waitress walks up to them and asks if she can take their order. Bush leans close to her
and says, "Honey, can I have a quickie?"
The waitress is appalled and yells at the President about women's rights and storms away.
Cheney then says to Bush, "George, its pronounced 'quiche'."
*Runs and dives off the cliff only to realize it wasnt a cliff after all but instead the curb of the road* ah well better luck next time
Adam
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posted on 2004-12-16 at 17:40
hehe. thats good!
A guy walks into a doctors office with a frog on his head. The doctor says "Whats wrong with you?"
And the Frog says "It started with a bump on my ass".
i know, its a stupid joke. but i laugh at it anyways.
Adam
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posted on 2004-12-16 at 17:48
ok ok ok ok ok
A piece of string walks into a bar, he goes up to the bar tender and says " gimme a beer!"
The bartender says "We dont serve your kind in here, get lost"
So, the piece of string goes back outside, messes up his hair, and ties himself into a knot.
The string walks back into the bar and tries to order another beer. The bartender says "Werent you just in here and i told you to get
lost?"
And the string says "I'm a frayed knot!"
1lilrockerchic
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posted on 2004-12-16 at 17:53
Joe walked into a bar and said ouch.
.::Lullaby::.
xX*I am sorry now (but will I ever let you go…)
Things seem so wrong (I had something worth living for)
I cant go on, but its something we’re suppose to do
My heart is crushed, now that I’m without you
I’m without you *Xx
Adam
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posted on 2004-12-16 at 17:56
Two Irish guys walk out of a bar.
1lilrockerchic
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posted on 2004-12-16 at 17:59
ha ha ha..
.::Lullaby::.
xX*I am sorry now (but will I ever let you go…)
Things seem so wrong (I had something worth living for)
I cant go on, but its something we’re suppose to do
My heart is crushed, now that I’m without you
I’m without you *Xx
1lilrockerchic
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posted on 2004-12-16 at 18:02
Q: How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Wanna ride bikes?
.::Lullaby::.
xX*I am sorry now (but will I ever let you go…)
Things seem so wrong (I had something worth living for)
I cant go on, but its something we’re suppose to do
My heart is crushed, now that I’m without you
I’m without you *Xx
Adam
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posted on 2004-12-16 at 18:05
GONNNG, oh this isnt the gong show?
1lilrockerchic
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posted on 2004-12-16 at 18:07
what???
.::Lullaby::.
xX*I am sorry now (but will I ever let you go…)
Things seem so wrong (I had something worth living for)
I cant go on, but its something we’re suppose to do
My heart is crushed, now that I’m without you
I’m without you *Xx
Adam
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posted on 2004-12-16 at 18:26
the gong show was a show that had performers doing various things, and if they suck, they sound this huge gong and the gestapos come out and kill you
with a rototiller
Adam
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posted on 2004-12-16 at 18:27
1lilrockerchic
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posted on 2004-12-16 at 18:30
.::Lullaby::.
xX*I am sorry now (but will I ever let you go…)
Things seem so wrong (I had something worth living for)
I cant go on, but its something we’re suppose to do
My heart is crushed, now that I’m without you
I’m without you *Xx
Adam
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posted on 2004-12-16 at 18:34
how many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
none. the keyboardist can do it with his left hand.
Reivax
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posted on 2004-12-16 at 20:13
quotation:Originally posted by Adam
GONNNG, oh this isnt the gong show?
Well, if it's any consolation, I understood what you meant.
This is something I heard on the internet the other day that I thought was pretty clever. More of a pickup line than a joke, I guess....
"Well, if I can't have your virginity, can I at least have the box it came in?"
Posts: 3261
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posted on 2004-12-16 at 22:56
So a man is praying to god. god appears, and asks him what he wanted.
"God, what is a million years like to you?"
"A million years is but a second to me"
"God, what is a million dollars like to you?"
"A million years is but a penny to me"
and the man says "God, can i have a penny?"
and god says "Sure, in just a second."
Some things take more than a lifetime.
Pure_Ibanez_Sound
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posted on 2004-12-16 at 23:55
Ouch, that'd suck.
A pirate walks into a bar with one of them pirate ship steering wheels shoved into his pants.
The bartended says "Hey Pirate, why do you have a steering wheel in your pants?"
The pirate replies with "Arrr, it drives me nuts!"
one last show.
armour_guitarist
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posted on 2004-12-17 at 06:50
oh, i got a pirate joke
A pirate walks into a bar, and he's got a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch.
He gets to talking with the bartender, and after a while the bartender asks "so what happened to your leg?"
the pirate responds "well matey, we was in a fierce storm and i got meself washed overboard, and a shark, bit off me leg!"
the bartender says "oh, i see..."
a little later he asks "so how'd you get that hook"
the pirate says "well matey, one of the pirate scum on me ship tried to slit me throught. I was quick to me blade, but he cut off me hand
a'fore i stuck him!"
and the bartender says "ah, i gotcha mate..."
then just before the pirate leaves, the bartender asks "oh, by the way, how did you get that eye patch?"
The pirate looks at him for a moment, and then he says "A seagull pooped in me eye!"
the bartender replies "well that doesn't make very much sense, couldn't you just wipe it out of your eye?"
and the pirate says "Well it was the first day i had me hook."
Some things take more than a lifetime.
Pure_Ibanez_Sound
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posted on 2004-12-17 at 21:08
Oh poor pirate! That hook must be very trouble some.
EVEN THOUGH IT WASN'T A KNOCK KNOCK JOKE! BAHHHHHHHHH!
Haha, neither was mine. Oh well.
one last show.
armour_guitarist
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posted on 2004-12-17 at 23:40
Chris, none of the jokes in this thread have been knock knock jokes... and anyways, knock knock jokes are only funny if you hear the person tell it.
and those are only the most briliant ones, most aren't even remotely entertaining.
Some things take more than a lifetime.
Hyde
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posted on 2004-12-18 at 01:00
What's the difference between a truckload of babies and a truckload of bowling balls?
You can't unload a truckload of bowling balls with a pitchfork \m/
Paige_x0x
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posted on 2004-12-18 at 04:59
What's the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a ferrari?
I don't have a ferrari.
The night's as hot as hell. It's a lousy room in a lousy part of a lousy town - I'm staring at a goddess. She's telling me she
wants me. I'm not going to waste one more minute wondering how I've gotten this lucky. She smells like angels ought to smell, the perfect
woman... the Goddess. Goldie. She says her name is Goldie.
armour_guitarist
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posted on 2004-12-18 at 05:58
hehe. good one paige
Some things take more than a lifetime.
Sin Ogaris
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posted on 2004-12-18 at 17:36
Q. How do you fit 4 elephants in a red mini?
A. Two in the front, two in the back.
Q. How do you know an elephants been in the fridge?
A. Footprints in the butter.
Q. How do you know two elephants have been in the fridge?
A. Two sets of footprints in the butter.
Q. How do you know three elephants have been in the fridge?
A. Three sets of footprints in the butter.
Q. How do you know four elephants have been in the fridge?
A. There's a red mini parked in front of it.
Q. What's green and brown, has four legs, and can kill a man if it falls on him?
A. A pool table.
Two guys walk into a bar.
You'd think the second guy would have ducked.
<The joke below is not mine, my friend made it up, so blame him>
Q. What's the difference between a duck?
A. It's only got one leg.
Sin Ogaris
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posted on 2004-12-18 at 17:39
Here's another lame one...
Forumers unite!
Dyslexics untie!
DeeDee
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posted on 2004-12-16 at 17:25
