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Author: Subject: Basil the African Hat- His Magnificent Journey
SideO_JR
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posted on 2004-9-13 at 07:28
as you can see, our friend basil is a very dirty boy. but that is also another story





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armour_guitarist
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posted on 2004-9-13 at 07:38
anyway, somehow basil managed to hitch hike across the atlantic. infact this should have been entered into the guiness book of world records, and would have been (article of clothing to travel the farthest distance without a human inside of it) were it not for the editor who couldn't figure out how to fit it on the page.

he met many extrodinary birds, and sea life on the way, and had a jolly ol' time.





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Pure_Ibanez_Sound
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posted on 2004-9-13 at 19:24
This jolly 'ol time was not your regular jolly 'ol time. Regularily, jolly 'ol times are filled with pirates and talking birds. However, Basil's hat had a miniature 'Hitler-like' golf course, as he had taken over all ships, and eventually the world.

*Off*-Yay, let's screw with history*off*





one last show.

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little_lady
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posted on 2004-9-13 at 19:59
So, as we probably know by now...Basil is a very, very gay hat. I use this term very loosely, since gay can also mean "merry", not just homosexual.
The pink suggests otherwise,though.
Anyway! Basil shall just remain a "merry and jolly" hat.....in pink....with a name like "Basil"..
Oh how the plot thickens!

Basil met up with Sebastian the crab in a pinapple under the sea. Conveniently enough, SpongeBob was there as well...it turns out that he had the night-shift as bartender. So, Sebastian confessed to Basil all of his most recent doings, as they both drank themselves silly.

When, suddenly..........





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Pure_Ibanez_Sound
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posted on 2004-9-13 at 20:09
Hitler landed on deck, as he soared on from his parachute. "Ho ho ho" he said, as he delivered presents to all the children.





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armour_guitarist
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posted on 2004-9-13 at 21:42
but as each child opened them they realized (too late) that they were actually gas boxes. and an entire generation was wiped out. Basil was outraged, so he summoned an army the likes of which had never been seen, to wage war upon the horrible Hitler.





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posted on 2004-9-13 at 21:53
The army (complied totally of le chapeau's) marched west, once again, to fight Hitler and his evil partner, named Batman.





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armour_guitarist
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posted on 2004-9-13 at 21:59
when they arrived Batman had already been defeated by "the Joker"... (today we have a day of mourning for batman, the day before the d-day invasion.)
anyway, the d-day invasion was actually lead by Basil, and his army (historians seem to fuck with everything eh?)
and Basil prevailed after being thrown at Hitler's head, decapitating him odd-job style. there was much rejoicing. basil needed a wash.





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Pure_Ibanez_Sound
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posted on 2004-9-13 at 22:02
They bathed him in the traditional Innuit way. Bathing one with the blood of his mother, father and a brutally murdered seal.

(what a bad post!)





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little_lady
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posted on 2004-9-14 at 00:01
"Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring," went the banana phone.

"Hmm, that's odd. I don't recall there being a banana phone in the first place, but, okay..." Basil tried to answer the phone but noticed that the "ring" was really a signal that he had received a text message, so...he began to read it, not knowing that the sender was his good friend..
the web-using nun!


"y0, liek How'z it goin..meet me @ da pub in 10 minz, kk?! k..ttyl"

Basil was stunned, for the most part.





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armour_guitarist
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posted on 2004-9-14 at 01:02
10 minutes later the web-using nun (who happened to be named Mary) met a rather bloody Basil at the local pub where they witnessed an amazing thing.





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Chris
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posted on 2004-9-14 at 02:02
a giant midget. who was breakdancing. on his elbow.





ta bi

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little_lady
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posted on 2004-9-14 at 02:16
[I really want her name to be Gertrude though...-sniff-

"What the Helen of Troy is THAT?" shouted the web-using nun whose named was Mary for the time being.
Basil chuckled and replied, "Oh, that's just my homie Elmer...we used to hustle the streets together."

Suddenly Jay-Z's "I just wanna love you" started playing..and Basil and Elmer both broke into a synchronized dance, while singing.
"I'm a hustler baby [I'm a hustler]
I just want you to know [Wanna let you know]
It aint where I been [It aint where I been]
But where I'm bout to go [Top of the world!]
Now I just wanna love you [just wanna love you]
But be who I am [you know you love me]
And with all this cash [mo' money, mo' problems]
You'll forget your man"

The crowd went wild and shouted,"Encore! Encore!"
So...Basil, being the smartass (and big Jay-Z fan) that he was said..
"Now can I get an encore, do you want more
So for one last time I need y'all to roar
Now what the hell are you waitin for
After me, there shall be no more"

too much quoting going on

One man approached Basil and the midget, and asked if they'd be interested in doing a double act. The web-using nun said they'd like to see a cash offering first, since she was in the mood for some gambling, which was kind of ironic, seeing as how she was a nun,after all.





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armour_guitarist
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posted on 2004-9-14 at 02:23
*off* i only chose Mary because of the "bloody" bit, and they were going to a pub.

quotation:
(who happened to be named Mary) met a rather bloody Basil at the local pub


... bloody mary. i admit it was a littl bit too subtle... *off*





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Pure_Ibanez_Sound
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posted on 2004-9-14 at 19:03
(dez always ruin's this lol)

Basil mounted Mary from on top. He rode her well...Off Mary and Basil went, chapeau and head, strutting down the streets of Germany.





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armour_guitarist
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posted on 2004-9-14 at 21:25
and off into the sunset.





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little_lady
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posted on 2004-9-14 at 22:11
The END.
just kidding

So, Mary looked into a pocket mirror she happened to have in her purse and said "Bloody hell!, What's that on my face?!"





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posted on 2004-9-14 at 22:14
"um, that would be me" replied Basil cleverly, "i am a hat."





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posted on 2004-9-14 at 22:18
"I clearly said FACE, not HEAD...but thanks." said the nun, slightly annoyed.
"Anyway, where's my foundation when I need it?"

"Aren't you a little bit too old to wear make up?" said Basil.





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posted on 2004-9-14 at 23:16
she took Basil off and chucked him as far as she could. "I detest you!" she screamed. and poor Basil sailed through the air high above the english channel (not to mention the chunnel)





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posted on 2004-9-15 at 02:11
That was quite the throw for an elderly nun. Previously, she attended a discuss throwing class that was put on by the Acient Greeks.





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SideO_JR
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posted on 2004-9-15 at 03:38
and where else would Basil land but the top of our well known friend Jiminy Cricket





How do you communicate those emotions that are so intense that no physical expression or series of words can even scratch the surface?

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little_lady
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posted on 2004-9-15 at 22:57
Hey! my msn name is "Give a little whistle.." since this afternoon, and..I just saw this post...and...now I'm scared...

Cricket man was a jolly ol' cricket. He said "Crikey! What DO you think you're doing? You could have killed me. Do you realize a hat is bigger than a cricket, and you weigh much more than I do? Honestly...some people's children!"

Basil apologized, and said "It's that damn nun's fault," then grumbled.

"Don't you dare speak like that about a nun. "Damn" and "nun" cannot go into the same sentence."

And so, cricket man and Basil began to fight...with swords..."Kill Bill" style.





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posted on 2004-9-16 at 05:56
after basil ripped out one of jiminy's eyes, an o believe me it was bloddy, he left him to be tortured by his good pal mickey. as for basil, well he got on to the next bus to...





How do you communicate those emotions that are so intense that no physical expression or series of words can even scratch the surface?

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little_lady
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posted on 2004-9-16 at 19:56
A place in Alberta...more specifically, Slavelake.

As he rode the bus, he noticed a young female reading a book, since he found her attractive he decided to launch himself so he'd land on her, thus hitting her on the head.
It was his way of saying "Hey, you're cool..let's elope together."

The young girl...........





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